CHRISTMAS MORNING?! Okay, you win. You should've pulled some Home Alone-type shenanigans on their ass.

Yeah, probably only 30% of the people in our dorm even got up (and it was mostly girls).

Boo. So sorry about that! Sometimes it's fun to embrace your inner rom-com cliche, ala Mindy from the Mindy Project. Feel better!

To whoever was smoking so the fire alarm went off at 3 am:

First of all, congrats! I don't have experience at either university, but on the topic of diversity - maybe check out if Vanderbilt has any clubs/societies that would help you keep in touch with your religious/cultural roots? I know that's been helpful to some of my friends who went to colleges that from the outside…

He looks like Bluebeard's more flamboyant brother.