I laughed so hard my coworkers all think I’m on drugs. I mean right now, not in general.

I need to steal that move.  

All I want is one day where my slappin’ hand doesn’t itch.  Not today, slappin’ hand, not today...

We will never have a day where we aren’t reminded that the President of the United States of America is basically a character from 12 Monkeys.

I’ve been in NYC for a long time, but I’m from a very small rural “town” in Oklahoma. Still have a lot of family there that I’m in contact with, and visit often. I’m literally the only person in my immediate family who isn’t country as a chicken coop. I understand these people on a level that people like Summers…

Howdy!  I’m in NYC now.  For a long time now, actually.  People here sometimes accuse me of making things up when I tell them stories about back home.  And if you grew up in Tulsa or OKC, then you know that if you step outside of the city limits even five feet it’s like you’ve entered another dimension. I still have…

Oh, that’s the tip of the iceberg. I’m originally from the country. As in, everybody I knew growing up had a chicken coop. So names like that are a thing in rural areas. At least in rural Oklahoma. I could go on all day. I know somebody whose family name is Holt. And has an uncle named Grab. Grab Holt. Yes. I…

I know somebody back home whose given first name is Easter Sunday.  Try living up to that one. 

So somebody got paid actual money to write that article.  This is not how I thought adults would be acting once I became one. 

So what House would Beyonce have been sorted into? I think a lot of folks would assume Gryffindor, but my money’s on Ravenclaw.

Everything I learn about him makes me wonder who listens to his band and goes to these shows. Seriously. Who listens to his band and goes to these shows?

I believe Viola Davis had to have a word or two with him.  And they didn’t even have any scenes together.

We are SO going to get an accidental text at some point.

I used to be a medical photographer and have taken pictures of autopsies. This is worse.

I would like to order a size Large. (Don’t laugh at my big head, y’all.)

I had to WORK for them.  But I (barely) managed it.

Daddy is mulling his fate over this week, so he’s GOTTA DANCE LIKE NEVER BEFORE to avoid taking up permanent residence under The Bus. Can you imagine the criteria for impressing your dad to include attacking rape victims?  All I had to do was get an A in math. 

Yep. What he’s doing is Dancing for Daddy faster than ever while Daddy is now busy deciding how much room under the bus will actually be needed for Jr. when the time inevitably arrives.  SAD. 

This is too bad. I actually have a long connection with that store, career-wise, and over the years got to know pretty much everyone connected with it, from the stock room folks to management. Pretty much everybody I ever met there was good people, and for a retail establishment, it seemed like a great work…

Oh, I already have this plan in the works: I’m going to make sure that all the people I don’t like are invited and then have a video played of me cussing each and every one out. Yes.