I went to his church.

Damn he's good! We need more Tom Hiddleston, not just as Loki, just in general.

That was very good.

Really? No one?

That cat is gonna fuck someone up when it lands.

Personally I applaud the House GOP for all the hard work they've done this week to ensure that Hilary Clinton will be our next president.

Thank God for Stephen Colbert in these trying times.

Irish Whiskey cut with ice water: bros who think they can take on muggers with their butterfly knives. Irish whiskey straight up: their girlfriends.

Southern Comfort uses the phrases " you know you want it" and "that's what she said" at least three times in every conversation.

Malbec thinks that he's special because he read Kafka in high school, not realizing that everyone read Kafka in high school.

Dark beer: The guy that you graduate to once you realize your self-worth. He brings your mom flowers, showers daily, has a stable job, makes friends with your little brother at family events, empties the dishwasher without being asked, always walks to the passenger door if you're both taking your car.

I think I've dated all of these asscohols.

that pretty much makes light beer your gay husband

Absinthe taught english in eastern europe and got away with all sorts of shit in the early 1990's.