The President is missing?  Did you see if he was under his desk with an intern?

The President is missing?  Did you see if he was under his desk with an intern?

That cheating bastard had it coming.

One of my favorite Rodney Dangerfield jokes:

My father slices the moldy parts off of cheese and eat it - the moldy parts!

I hear you sister. Here is how I described ADD to someone once: Imagine you have to watch a video that had important information you needed, but it is being shown in a sports bar that has 9 other screens showing other things, some of which you find way more interesting (or even slightly more interesting).  It would be…

Terena, you and I are soul sisters. I clearly remember being at recess in Kindergarten, being fascinated by something I saw, and later looking up to an empty playground because all of the other kids had heard the bell and gone inside. My first name is Stacey, and acquired the nickname “Spacey Stacey” in several…

Because by the time she does all that, she has already peed her pants. The struggle is real!!!

So what you’re saying is that it really should be called the Nobel Peace Bribe...

Also, you can win the Nobel Peace Prize just for being awesome, even if you haven’t really accomplished anything just yet! See: Barack Obama.

Awhile back I saw Red Lobster Cheddar Bay Biscuit Mix at Costco. I looked at the directions, and it said I had to add my own cheddar cheese, butter, and water to the mix.

Congrats to the lovely couple. The only thing that bums me out is they both wore those boring strapless wedding gowns - so unoriginal!  Save those for tacky straight girls.

I just ask it, “Is that a 1 terabyte thumb drive in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”

Thank you. I thought that was Burl Ives.

OMG “Leave it to Badger” MUST HAPPEN!!!

My guess is you aren’t Gus Fring, either.

And what about “Dangerous Liaisons”?

I hear you, my friend. The lack of hills is the only good reason left to live in Illinois.

Simple rule: Any apology followed by a sentence starting with the word “but” is not an apology.

I thought the monologue was a bit over the top.  However, I would have loved to see the story Gus told in flashback form.

If she enabled him, I hope all their money is eaten up in law suits and legal fees.