I hope Suarez bites her. They deserve each other.

Oh Lee Pace, when are you going to hurry up and get a boyfriend that you will show off in front of the camera because it will be the cutest couple ever, I am 120000000 times sure of it.

Somebody is an Old Kingdom purist :P

Dear Jack Antonoff: This is what happens when we don't use capital letters. Had you just said "and open-minded* Brown students," there would have been far less confusion.

A testament to the songwriting.

For those that have never been to a Bruce show, you can literally request any song and there's a chance they'll play it. This is more of a comedic bit and isn't him legitimately attempting a cover. This is him making this happen on the spot.

First:

mine:

"Destroying antiques" should be taboo, too.

John Henson's death is just heartbreaking. Apparently he was home alone with his young daughter when it happened. It's kind of disappointing that his death is hidden several points into a (meaner than usual, by the way) Dirt Bag. I hope Jez or even Gawker does a longer write-up about this.

Regarding Katie Holmes: I just cannot relate to runner people like that. I just... no, running makes me miserable, no endorphins. I'm jealous because it would be great, but... there is nothing in what she said that makes sense to me.

That's just good science!

Ceci n'est pas une pipe?

Youtube appreciation post

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Competing in equestrian? NOT A THING. Dressage, Equitation, Hunters, Jumpers, etc. are all equestrian sports. That sentence is gibberish. While arabs come in sizes under 14.2, all arabs are technically classified as horses not ponies.

The Jezebel Comments Section: A One-Act Play

Dude. They're not starting a trend. HENRY VIII STARTED IT WAY BEFORE IT WAS COOL.

I'm picturing them as the chorus in "1776."