Not really. It's tough to develop any mutual bitterness when anyone born the last time the Pirates had a winning record can now legally drink.

Yeah, note to Deadspin: The Cardinals didn't just find the guy lying around. He was a first round draft pick and has shot up the system to the majors after dominating at every level he's played. Every team that the Cardinals have talked trade with have wanted him, which is the reason the Cardinals didn't make any…

Over the weekend, for some stupid reason, they allowed Southern Illinois to play SE Missouri at Busch (while the dark and dull Edward Jones Dome sat empty a few blocks away). It tore up the turf, and the numbers and hash marks are still visible on the field.

What does it say about the NFL today that the first thing anyone seeing this is going to think about are the letters "CTE."

Dammit SI, I was promised a fuck lion.

This x 100,000,000.

No no, not replace. Supplement!

This post is fucking awesome. I demand more, Matt.

I'm sure the part where they go up on stage and hit play on a VOICEMAIL is just comedy gold.

No, it's been scientifically proven, the Cardinals' uniform is the best one.

I see yall know how to run the Lexis search "bridges w/2 burn!" Kudos.

Can we get a preseason Jambaroo up in here? Followup question: Has the offseason of mental rest given you the strength necessary to resume taking on the fucktardery of TMQB? Verily the Gods demand it!

Father of an almost-two-year old here. This story checks out. Removing and reinstalling any child seat makes me want to die.

Is Aaron Hernandez pulling into the lead for "most people murdered by a famous athlete?" OJ only had two confirmed kills, as did the unspeakably sad Chris Benoit story. Plus Hernandez may have shot someone in the face, to boot. Is there any other truly famous athlete with a more violent resume?