I love the give-no-fucks-ittude of this thing.

Five second rule.

Alcohol kills germs. Problem solved.

Well. That is certainly a thing that happened.

Yeah, I'm okay with this.

I was seriously considering that, but a used commuter sedan happened instead because I'm always nervous about the first model year of something.

Sweet. I can enjoy this video secure in the knowledge that nothing was lost except dude's debatable dignity.

I hope that was shitty beer he wasted.

I don't see *nearly* enough scooters. I call photoshop. :p

It looks so happy, though. I can't hate it.

Well, they do look like a bunch of clowns.

Well hello there.

"Air conditioned seats" is a funny way to spell "heaven."

It took me three hours to drive into work this morning. Not because I had problems; it was all these other motherfuckers getting stuck that held me up.

Hey, some of us don't have your fancy "binocular vision" and "depth perception," okay?

"A recent bout of concrete-block moving" makes it sound like he moves concrete blocks all the time and this is the first time it's bothered him. We all need hobbies, I guess.

Well, the bike wasn't gonna drive itself. What else was he gonna do?

I was going to say, "synergy" is always appropriate if it's immediately preceded by "showtime."