I am now officially one of “the olds” because not one damn sentence in this article makes a damn lick of sense to me.

What, not San Francisco?

Don’t: Use “Trim” in this context, ever again.

“Ur so hott Will u go out w me”

Huh. I mean... I use Wen. Haven’t experienced this. I really like it actually. I don’t lose more hair with it than with any other hair cleansing product I’ve used.

Roses are red

But then we lost :(

SLC has a massive LGBTQ population that is very active in politics. I truly think SLC is a great city with lots of good people, but Utah is weird man.

Trying to sell treadmills?

I found out last week that I am pregnant after my partner and I spent close to a year trying to conceive. I am overjoyed, elated, excited yada yada, but TBH I already hate being pregnant. I’m hoping much of this will pass once I get to the second trimester, but I feel terrible 100% of the time.

Who let the unattened child in here?

you know how boys start whacking it around 10-11? girls gotta start whacking it earlier too (cause isn’t like the average age when women start masturbating like early 20s?).

Uhm, excuse me... your article was incomplete. Here. I fixed it for you. Behold the Stewart. Bald before bald was cool. All hail Sir Patrick!

I know we all like to laugh at BS, but he does seem to be a good boss to work for; especially if you are a Boston or LA sports fan.

I bet that starting the podcast off with the two ads is intended to be as much of a dig at ESPN as anything else. He used to whine to anyone who would listen about ESPN’s inability to effectively monetize his podcasts. (Of course, MeUndies, Squarespace and E-Glue ain’t exactly General Motors. Actually, I’m surprised…

What did I just read?