I'm crying. Thank you.

For me, Macy Grey lost her relevance after her apearance in the Goblin fight scene in the first Spider-Man movie. It was tough to take her seriously afer that.

Did anything good happen in September, 2001?

"What about Hitler?" is a valid question, but you'll soon realize that it's a double-edged sword.

What if he raped Hitler?

You have entirely buried the lede: you're 5'3" and can palm a basketball?

Well, she married Afroduck, so there is some evidence in the "moron" column.

I'm pretty sure it's Taylor Swift.

Deputy Andy was the shit-and-a-half. When they stranded him on Titan, I almost lost it.

Didn't slaves till his field?

I'mma let you finish with that half-assed Depeche Mode nonsense: this is a Replacements' song first and forever.

It's a Viking funeral: better than most of us get.

This is the dumbest thing I've seen today and, holy crap, did it make me laugh. Gracias.

God said that you should shut up cuz you're stupid and stuff.

You're right: Michael Sam hasn't murdered any innocent dogs for his own amusement. Nor has he been arrested trying to smuggle weed through an airport. Also: no Ron Mexico.

Wasn't Zeus a Greek god? I'm pretty sure he'd be okay with gay stuff. :)

You are aware that being black was "against god and nature" in this country up 'til fairly recently, right?

Tipping was banned in China? How do you ban a city? :)

Consider it my gift you you in awed bewilderment of your ability to make Kinja display copyright symbols and that other thingamabob.

Oh, you italicized "ass."