Every time I saw an ad or trailer for this movie, it had C+ written all over it. Besides, Pixar already did the storks thing right with their "Partly Cloudy" short.

At least they aren't doing regular coverage for this shit anymore. It used to be a fun guilty pleasure for me, but now it's just irredeemingly bad.

That extended bleep with the kid's mouth blurred for almost ten seconds was the highlight for me.

"That's not my kid. That's my business partner. We make Vine videos together."

Goddamn right they did. With these two and Baskets, FX's new shows this year have been killing it. All they need to do is keep Denis Leary the fuck away forever and they'll be good.

"I look forward to a lifetime of joy, growth and constant mispronunciation of common words."

The use of J. Cole's "Who Dat" when Gamby and Russell walked down the hall together as principals was fucking great too.

She might've hired someone like Saison or even her ex-husband to do it. So… I'm still willing to bet she could've had something to do with it.

"Why y'all doing this to me?"
"'Cause we want your job, bitch! Why you think?!"

Jesus fucking Christ, that ending was brutal. I'm gonna guess the culprit's either Belinda or Russell, but either way, what a cliffhanger to leave on.

Well, they did film Onion's birth and give him a copy. They truly give no fucks.

This really is shaping up to be a quiet gem of a show. So many great details tossed around (Pamela's gasps when she entered the house killed me) and some of the most realistic family fighting I've seen in a damn long time. And hell, that period speech was motivational as fuck. FX better keep this one going.

THAT'S MY PURSE! I DON'T KNOW YOU!

I guess you can say it's their way of getting rock hard.

Holy shit, Onion has emotions?! Nah, I don't buy it. That kid still has evil in him!

Member when we almost killed that bitch if Jerry didn't show us his short game?

"Okay-okay, and just go, my vagina."

Eh, it was okay, but the confessional format just takes the mood away from it all. I'll stick around for a few more episodes, but I doubt this season will live up to all the fucking ads telling us to watch it 24/7.

I bet this'll do just as well as that Benedict Cumberbatch Julian Assange movie no one gave a fuck about three years ago.

Bridget Jones's Abortion would've at least gotten me in a seat.