This is relevant to my interests.

My kid has a boy named Anakin in his class and I thought that was the dumbest god damn thing until now.

i have been a bad husband before. and a bad boyfriend many times. perhaps even a bit of a dick when it comes to women I slept with. but I can go to my grave knowing ive never called a woman a pal. that’s gota count for something.

“I forgot to take my birth control for a week”

I can’t wait for the new battle of the bastards between this kid and Brady’s kid with Bridget Moynahan. The only question is who do I cheer for?

Look, in the grand scheme of things, of course this is an inconsequential story. But the jokes, man! Think of the jokes we’d lose if deadspin didn’t report on this!

Hey, Mr. Kraft.... can we take our Myra patches off now? It getting a little weird.

Now we know why Malcolm Butler was benched!

Oh oh Sean Brody I’m not gray!! I need a millennial (or millennial minded) person to explain to me why this is important and how my life is changed now!

approves

THERE IS A CHILD IN MY CHILD’S PRESCHOOL NAMED KRILL.

Those wild and crazy kids.

You’re not even close to commenting on the right story.

He double-checked the math, and he still has 84 more to go to get there.

Rob Gronkowski has been in the NFL since 2010—he is now 4 generations removed from the porn stars of his rookie season. You have to consider how difficult this is on him both mentally and physically.

Unfortunately Gronk’s about 29 years too late to retire and prevent permanent brain damage.

Tough decision. His heart is between a rock and a hard place.

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i’m fascinated by the people who replied to this tweet

Stephen A is on the case.