But part of the problem is that asking is part of the emotional work. Recognizing that it needs to be done, planning it, delegating tasks, all of that goes unseen.

If you want to work things out that way, you should be able to choose to. But what needs to stop happening is men assuming that women will pull the bulk of this weight simply because they don’t feel like learning how, and devaluing the time, effort and energy that goes into it. Men constantly assume that women will…