I hear wind chimes.

She is so hilarious. As Janet, as Bad Janet, as Bad Janet pretending to be Janet and failing, as Janet pretending to be Bad Janet and failing.

#metoo wasn't born in Hollywood and it won't die there either. 

“But it was after she was snubbed from the wedding that things really turned sour ...”

Good. They think they are untouchable. Anyone working in media knows that you cannot wear campaign schwag; you become part of the story you are reporting impartiality be damned.   I am sure some Fox affiliate will snatch him up.

Every photo I see of Affleck and Garner, she’s smiling and he looks like he’s been forced there at gunpoint. Just this expression of utter disdain. He even talked in his Oscar speech about how much work marriage was (which it is, but dude, you’re on international TV - just praise and thank your wife unreservedly, how…

I think Keira has a point, but really what is Kate supposed to do? It's part of the job. Everyone knows there is nothing normal about Kate's birth experience, I'd be surprised if anyone thought she was representative of the average woman.

Ok, Kiera Knightly can fuck off. Everyone’s birth experience is different and hers is no template for anyone else’s. If Kate Middleton wanted to leave the hospital as soon as they would let her, why is that a problem? So she posed in heels for some photos for a minute or so, does that mean she wears heels all the…

I went out with a guy once for coffee, and then once more on a “real” date. It was half way through this one that, thanks to chit chat, a family photo, and his distinctive first name, I realized his dad was one of my regular clients.

A guy I knew from high school. Found me on fb when we were about 28/29. He wanted to get dinner. Ok, sure. After the meal had arrived, he got a phone call that sounded serious. He asked the caller, “Are you ok? Do you need me to come?” I thought, “No way. This m-effer is pulling the fake emergency call on me!” He got…

He brags about his vehicles, goes “halfsies” on the tab, walks ahead of you in the parking lot, and cries about “his dreams” while never asking about yours? Good thing he did leave. Those self-centered jerks are the worst.

The epilogue tho. 😂😂😂😂

On one sunny day in August, I’d just received notice that my new job was moving me to Hawaii, and I was in a particularly good mood even at my energy-sucking retail job, where I’d just given my 2 weeks. So I was very quick to chat with every customer, including one who circled back after making a purchase and asked me…

I was an adult woman and an adult man took me to a Buffalo Wild Wings located inside a movie theater on our first date, but we weren’t going to a movie. This was 2008-ish, so early enough that most people did not have smart phones and therefore didn’t necessarily have a camera in their pocket. After the server takes…

I met a guy on a Greyhound bus. He was very cute and we were making tentative plans to hang out at our destination but then we started talking about writing.

First Date: He took me to a great dinner, nice place, and during asked the waiter how much longer dinner would take, we had a show to get to. I, having no idea about the show, asked what we were seeing. He said he was taking me to the newly opened high class strip joint. I am young, I am impressionable, I have never…

That is what this Narracist wants. He wants to be forced out that way he can live the lie that if not for outside forces he would have made TSLAQ a trillion dollar company. But, instead the SEC, Blackrock, Shorts, Big Oil, Pedo divers, battery spies all conspired to take him down.

C’mon Dennis, the gun that goes off when your table is ready was particularly inspired.

Too much goddamn Trevor, not enough core-4 group dynamics.

I always love other country’s stereotypical depictions of Americans. But nobody did it better than Archer.