Kozmo was awesome.

Yeah, I think that’s because we’ve come so far with the disposal of bodies. Now we know that before you move a body to the trunk you need to dismember it.

Mmm... things must have been different back then.

I’ve been regularly visiting this site since it launched, I have always appreciated your posts; Jalopnik wouldn’t be the same without you!

A surprisingly sane call by Crazy Karl.

I actually did 10 days in jail for doing this exact thing (with less grace) in Kirkland, Washington. Watch out kids, this is not something you want to get caught doing by bored suburban cops.

My god... I remember that movie from when I was a kid; talk about a hero car.

Came here for this, you popped into my mind as soon as I saw the headline.

Well played.

I guess things have changed since then.

Re: girls...

1) Get your hands on some steroids and get in the gym
2) Get a tattoo (go big)
3) Start training MMA
4) Be as big of a douchebag as possible
5) Flaunt your means... gotta have some swagger (the ladies like shiny things)

Seems to work for a lot of guys I know.*

OR...

Take care of yourself (clothes ironed, hair…

I’m with you on that. I bought a Wrangler when I moved to Costa Rica... it was awesome up in the hills on unimproved mud paths that pass for roads but was hands-down (and ass puckered) the sketchiest driving experience I’ve had in any modern vehicle on the highway. I would never put a kid (or anyone I liked) in a…

Keep the articles coming!

Great article Jonathon!*

*Please please please get some heavy boots that go over the ankle and provide support. You really don’t want to learn how bad it is to crash in Chucks.

-A guy who has crashed in Chucks (and gotten them caught in an open primary pulley).

Yeah dude, I hate to be that guy but I’m with you. I cringed hard when I saw those Chucks, I sincerely hope he doesn’t learn the hard way that feet are super vulnerable in a motorcycle accident and get shredded easily.

I like how you think.

Fantastic work!

Nailed it.

Cry me a river, had Lee fought for the Union that land would be a subdivision now.

Holy wow... I got the joke, there’s some humorless folks around here.