Yet another way assholes try to get you to look at them.

An excuse for 21st century yuppies to drink a shitload since nothing in the future won’t revolve around their goddamned kids.

...said nobody, ever.

The best HBO theme song is so obviously “Curb Your Enthusiasm”. It’s not even remotely a contest. Perfectly fitting.

Best sports hair past and present:

Some people are just lucky, I guess.

I usually tip on take out and I don’t make much money and live in a city with one of the highest costs of living in the US. For me, and this is just for me, I just feel that if I can afford to go somewhere for food or drinks or whatever, I can afford to also tip. Again, that’s just me. Mostly because I’m just a…

There are no nearby garage spots, genius. And moving isn’t an option right now for a million reasons. As for the inconvenience ... just let me rant. Jesus fuck.

It sounds like the Let’s Remember Some Guys Invitational.

Yo Tim, you’ve got video from two different crashes up there. Not two views of the same one.

Was there with my wife and my folks. My dad is the most lukewarm Rockies fan among us (he likes them, but has always been meh on baseball and mainly relies on my mom to keep him informed of their record, which is usually trash by this time of year). We were all on our feet when Nolan came to the plate. Then that first…

the sound the grape lady makes after she falls is forever burned into my brain.

“LeBron, is this a case of where you have to defend home court at this point?”

“Not all snakes are poisonous, and almost all of them go out of their way to stay away from you.”

[Tim Tebow hits a home run]

Whoever wrote that headline

you caught me in the middle of a bong hit and i might be drowning right now.

i hatelove you so much.

FIFA has Bowser. PES has “Green Lizard King FC”.