For Boehner to call you miserable you almost have to be some sort of misery golem. An artificial construct made out of sorrow and brought to shambling life by the cursed words of a syphillitic fallen priest inscribed onto a scroll made from...like...just the worst ditch weed. I suppose the math works out then. 

Fuck off with this nonsense.  When someone is as ugly on the inside as Ms. Piggy McCain, her outside appearance is absolutely fair game.  Especially when the comment is funny as hell, like the one you pathetically have a problem with.  Also, Chooch, it’s perfectly reasonable for someone to be an absolute progressive…

What’s scary is I think that if I ever did drag, I’d probably look like her.

“Ohmygodyouguys, if you only saw the side of him I saw. He can be really sweet and thoughtful when he wants. He really takes great care of me, and is so good to my friends. When my father, Vietnam war hero Senator John McCain died, he took such good care of the whole family who was grieving the death of our hero, my…

“Meghan McCain has long touted herself as a pro-LGBTQ Republican who champions the queer community by (checks notes) having lots of gay friends.”

Wait so is mine and he was a veteran, why haven’t I been using this excuse. I only use it for inappropriate jokes, not really the veteran part, just the dead thing.

I will continue to critique the outward appearance of people I find to be ugly on the inside.

I mean, to be fair. She likely doesn’t know what jobs are.

It’s like his kid-eating fangs have pierced through his chin.

He’d actually be a better looking man if he’d been born with his head upside down... you know, like Tom Tucker’s kid.

Stage 3 of 12 of the conversion to Human Earwig.

And Jesus said, Come Forth, and you shall receive Eternal Light. But John came fifth, and won…

Whenever LGBTQ  guests appear on The View the producers of the show cover Meghan with tarp so they don’t have to see her.......

jfc

You leftie people are so mean to poor low-profile Meghan, first you point out what her father said and did as a U.S. Senator, now you are pointing out vitriolic things her husband writes for everyone to see. Is nothing Meghan sacred?

When specifically asked his opinions on Ted Cruz, Boehner made a face, drawing laughter from the crowd.

oh, snap!

Ben married her for love... of money.

Ted Cruz is an evil slimeball of a human being who has only the smallest amount charm possible for a human being to have.

Ted’ds beard makes his head look like an under-watered chia pet left too long in direct sunlight.

Great. Now I’m terrified again.

I got this pain a lot when I was younger. Now I always chew gum during takeoff and landing. Also, I exaggerate my chewing and force myself to yawn over and over. The key is to get that jaw moving as much as possible so it opens the Eustachian tubes.

The best thing I can recommend is active entertainment. Movies are great and all, but unless it’s something you can really get into, it’s not going to take your mind off of where you are. I like to write, draw, play handheld or smartphone games, fidget with a deck of cards, or do word/number puzzles. They pass the…