I’m looking forward to fixing the student debt crisis.  I’m sure it’s on his calendar right after “Infrastructure Week.”

I’m starting to think being a teacher in this country might be a shitty job.

Huckabee knows what the kids want, and it ain’t socialism!  What they want is a little classic rock with some of the lyrics changed to be about Jesus.

And while he doesn’t know the president, he somehow introduced him to Kellyanne.

“Feckless” is a word I never get tired of.

Who doesn’t want to be Lando?

In books on rhetoric, I’ve seen the expression about taking apart someone’s argument “like a two-dollar watch.” I’d never witnessed it before, though.

What happened to you, man? You used to be an edgelord, but, now, you’re just wrong about everything.

Beto running for VP is exhausting. I can’t imagine being his wife and kids.

If my kid becomes a Rush fan, I’ve failed as a parent.

I like you, too, Poodle. But I can’t be the bee’s knees because even bees have only so many knees, and you are all of them.

Do what you gotta do. Personally, I like your comments very much and imagine I would like you very much. But to thine own self be true. We’ll both live, amiga.

Yeah, but I’m a really funny asshole. You’re a troll who stays up half the night typing bullshit that gets dismissed in seconds.

It’s some shameful shit, but most of it is on the system. Let the dingbat be on the show I’ll never watch and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive others who trespass against us.

Well, obviously, fun cats like Pratchett or Adams have talked about bars. But I always think about something Denis Johnson said:

If someone representing Black Lives Matter was hauling a similar piece of shit from state to state for years, they would have been stopped by the police four thousand times and be comprised entirely of lead.

The lawsuit is obviously a joke.  Why you don’t get that is less obvious.

This is lovely. You were lucky to have your Papa, and he was lucky to have you.

“You’re fired hired!”