Rockstar’s alt-facts: “OK, BEFORE YOU JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS, LET ME TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENED”

Let us reminisce about all the amazing Cadillac’s that they refuse to build:

It puts the oil on the jeep or else it gets the hose again

one of only 24 S54 M Coupes in Steel Gray with a Dark Gray/Black interior and a sunroof.

That might have been the single worst press conference I have ever seen. 6 years since Skyrim and they’re still milking it with a bullshit Hearthstone ripoff. No TES 6 or any hints whatsoever to it (6 fuckin years lmao). No mention of Starfield. Paid mods. 2 new games we already knew were coming. No new IP’s and a…

You do realize you now have to be the anti-$kay and post every day

I’m doing this before $kay...

On the front suspension lower control arm, due to inappropriate caulking process of the ball joint, the ball joint socket area may become cracked. Therefore, if an abnormally large load is applied to the suspension during driving, the ball joint may separate from the socket.

Coulda been worse. Coulda broke his coccyx.

Yeah, but the previous owner of that BMW probably farted a lot in the car before you bought it. Do you want a car that has been pre-farted in?

HE WAS KILLED BY HILLARY CLINTON!

I should have pointed out that was back in 2010-2012. I hear things are substantially better now. Keep in mind that its almost never random violence. Or at least that’s what I’ve heard and read. In other words, if you don’t go poking around and stay in after the curfew(not sure that still exists even) then there’s…

Put a couple Americans in it and it’ll be hella flush.

Jason, we love you but you are dead wrong about this car.... You can spell BOOBS on the calculator when you roll it.

Stop complaining. Just remove the bumper cover, the fender liner and loosen the brake caliper. Then remove the hood, unbolt the dashboard (but leave the steering wheel in place). Undo the battery. Now you can access the headlamp bulb. Call your toddler over, because children’s arms are better suited to fit the tight…

I wonder how much of those lights staying burnt out is due to the fact that it’s an utter nightmare to get to headlamps anymore.

Hmmm, where have I seen this cat before...OH YEAH!:

Who’s the pussy now, bitch?