Thank you! I will say that mentality is still very prevalent even with victims such as myself. It’s a weird dichotomy how I can look at every other victim and say it most definitely was not their fault; when it came to me not so much. It wasn’t until a couple weeks ago when I was discussing with my current boyfriend…
Hernert
hernertthe23
I just mentioned this in another thread. I was date-raped in 1985, and if I said anything like that people looked at me like I was crazy!
Nope. Sorry. Not feeling the love. As the mother of a young woman, I want to rip Hynde’s ignorant face off. She is not just a victim anymore, she is a perpetrator, too. Most perpetrators of sexual violence were sexually victimized, but that is never an excuse. I am a father-daughter incest survivor, but like most…
I feel bad for her, I really do, but she’s 63 years old. Somewhere, a teen, is reading her words and blaming herself all over again. It’s just not ok. She should know better at her age. Words have power. She’s not just blaming herself. She’s blaming all victims. I understand that hanging out with admitted…
Exactly. Rapists are gonna rape. They will rape because you are female, and there, not because of what you are wearing.
If dress had anything to do with rapes, women who wear burkas would have a 0% chance of getting raped. But women in burkas still get raped.
A “rape rape”. Whoopi Goldberg is also of the same generation as you and Chrissie... sadly that thinking didn’t end in your generation.
Even so, it’s irrelevant what those 11% that are raped by strangers are wearing, or not wearing. The one dressing provocatively is no more asking to be victimized than the one dressing modestly, and it happens to both, “common sense” or no. So she’s incorrect on both counts.
That was exactly my reaction — sadness. How many years have you been living with this self-blame, Chrissie? That’s just beyond sad.
Whenever I get into a discussion with someone who says they don’t know anyone who was raped, I reply “You know me.”
He was great but he wasn’t the first therapist I tried. I’d been to two others and was at least 5 years post rape when I went to him. He specialized in traumatic events and PTSD so he was exactly what I needed.
1)Thank you.
It makes me sad how often a fwiw is followed by “I was raped”. It highlights how prevalent rape is, and that it can be stated so matter of factly... I am sorry. I’m glad you have a good therapist.
That is very compassionate, thank you. I sort of ignored the whole fact that she is a victim when I blacked out and saw red at what she was saying.
I’m glad you found a good therapist. I know that isn’t easy.
Oh man. I’m a little bit older than Chrissie and I grew up with that same bullshit, victim-blaming message drilled into my head — and boy was it drilled into us. I got over it. Fwiw, I was also raped (back in the 80s) and I tried really hard to blame myself, but my therapist wouldn’t let me get by with that.
Honestly, this attitude is very common from people who have been assaulted. When I responded to hospital calls, they would spend a lot of time thinking and critiquing their own actions. It’s horrible to think, but it’s sometimes easier to blame yourself than to confront the reality that a gang of men decided to…