Ugh. All of this bothers me so much. I concede to the fact that he was young and was raised in an environment that fostered thst sort of behavior. And honestly, had he been given actually therapy as well as certain degrees of punishment he could be a successful and non-abusive adult. At my last residential treatment…

Ha! I actually have a funny story about this.

Many years ago, I worked bar at a sports bar in suburban Denver while in college. We had our three shots we would serve for someone on their birthday- for girls, it was Purple Fucks because that was always funny, for guys it was Four Horsemens because that was even funnier, and if someone- gender aside- was being a…

If they had to save their first kiss for their husband on their wedding day, it’s a shame they weren’t allowed to save their first breast and genital fondling for him on that day as well.

Well-adjusted 14 year olds do not “play doctor” with younger siblings.

The maniacal laugh that happened when I found THAT picture cannot be described in mere words.

I’m convinced Jesus is real, because there is no way double sided sticky tape is that powerful. That tape had some footprint on the sand moments where sometimes they were both holding kim’s boobs, and sometimes the tape faltered, and that's when Jesus carried Kim's boobs.

This is dating myself but... when I was 10 years old my mother moved us from Philly to Westwood Ca. (a whole ‘nother story but it was actually a case of custodial interference.) Our neighbor in in the Melrose place looking complex was Barbara Barry. She played Gavin Mcleod’s wife on “The Mary Tyler Moore Show”. She…

Some of my lit students were telling celebrity stories recently, and I happily talked about the time I met Junot Diaz.

When I was in high school, some local, road-side hotel decided to convert their restaurant to a Chinese buffet. They called the high school to see if there were any “Chinese girls who would like a job.” Damn it. I was the only Chinese girl in the school, and actually, yeah, I wanted another job because college was…

When I was in college I worked at a fancy golf course. A lot of celebrities came to play a round, and most were perfectly nice. The exception? Maury Povich. I was his caddy. He chain smoked on every hole, blowing smoke into my face while I handed him golf clubs. He was playing poorly. The longer he played, the worse…

This is the point at which you buy a shock collar and prepare for a long weekend.

The international breakfast is a half-waffle

“Here, we see a server remove the packaging from a frozen cheesecake that arrived on truck this morning to be thawed in a cooler. And so begins and ends our tour of Obscene Selection of Cheesecakes.”

#TeamBoredSikhPolicemanTryingNotToLaughAtTheTownCrier

Once, an 8-top of Christians left one of those “Here’s a Tip for You!” pamphlets on my table, in lieu of a cash tip. I was sort of used to this, so I didn’t remark much, just tossed it into the bus tub with the rest of the debris, and a glower.

I’m a little late but here goes. I worked in a Gay Dennys in Arizona and soon after gay marriage became legal, I had the most adorable elderly couple of men, one white, one black. They were seated at the counter and had on these beautiful leis. I asked if I could feel the real flowers and asked what the occasion was.…

I didn’t think you could get pregnant doing Amal.

I once bought a box of chicken from a Bojangles to take home for dinner and was happily on my second piece when I bit into a giant half breaded feather. It was huge like big enough to sign the declaration if independence with. I went back to the restaurant and showed the manager the feather his response: ‘Our chickens…

One of my former bosses was trying to order a chicken combo, 3 pieces, a biscuit and a drink from a Popeyes/KFC (doesn’t matter). The price was like $5.99 based on the menu. When the cashier completed the order, it was a few dollars more. He questioned the cashier, and she informed him that the “combo” button was…