The NCAA is taking this Death Penalty punishment a little far.

I was snorting before I even clicked on the headline.

You know what? Don't swat the ball away and take any chances and it wouldn't matter.

I remember as a kid straight up believing all of the shit on the covers of Weekly World News. Probably fueled all of my alien nightmares.

I'm watching YouTube videos of Michelle Kwan's skating programs. This will likely end in tears on my part.

if you plant cucumber and/or zucchini, you will feel like the most awesome gardener ever. Those things just love to grow. I'm personally shocked that the whole world isn't absolutely covered with cukes.

ike's voice when he says 'don't kick the baby' makes me squee. IKE HAS THE CUTEST BABY VOICES.

I went to Taco Bell and asked for an item without meat. The counter guy, looking at that menu board cash register thing they have, asked "Um...do you want it without beef, or without chicken?"

It kind of sounds to me like they killed the employees/had them tied up in the back but had to serve people to avoid suspicion. Or aliens.

I was once in a "fancy" Chinese restaurant in Chicago for my birthday and they had just waxed the floors. EVERYONE was falling down. Servers, customers, everyone. It was bizarre and hilarious. The management was losing their minds over how many meals they were comping. I wiped out before I even got to my table. My…

I like how work that's well within the description of "housewife" becomes that of a "servant" when it's a man doing it. Also, I kind of want a "servant" type husband. Life would be so much easier.

There are so many different perspectives on this subject that I'm honestly not sure what the right answer is. I always leave something, but the % tends to vary based on whether it's a place I frequent. I don't have a right answer here because there's no hard and fast rule.

Those ungrateful Poors. Obviously wasting money they clearly don't deserve.

After being confronted about this incident later by a few bold servers and some of the other regulars, he replied that he shouldn't have had to pay ANYTHING on that tab as he came to our fine establishment to enjoy (torment) the pretty servers and got stuck with a BOY.

In the late '80s and early 90s I worked as a bartender at a very nice hotel. It was the place where money came for lunch and supper, celebrities would stay there while shooting movies, and lots of AMEX Platinums (Ceturion wasn't around yet) went past your face.

I had to read this three times before it hit me that ballparking was not a sexual technique you needed to work on.

Also, I had the BEST server this weekend. He was a high schooler and he freaking... He was just so excited about everything on the menu, and his job, and chocolate sauce. I don't even know. I'm gonna go on yelp and write lovely haikus about him.

First thing I thought of after reading about the Denver Dudebro.

Can we like, get you a raise or something? BCO does something to my spirits. Everyone at work today is squabbling. Tension can be cut with a knife. I'm over here snickering... and wanting to be waited on by a tough ass drag queen.