She graduated from a law school, so it might actually be interesting. 

“ I could genuinely care less” does it mean you still do?

Did not know that littering is a federal misdemeanor. I guess location counts. Toothless rednecks only beautify their neighborhoods adored with Dixie flags by spreading their shit everywhere. Should have known better. 

You meant koffee, right?

She is not expecting a child, even if it is genetically theirs. Her surrogate is.

“Woefully pedestrian sexts” ? Nope, nada. zilch. Anyone who read them could clearly see that the dude is in love. Hate him for cheating, yes, but do not criticize him for falling for someone. Just don’t.

I wish I could get rid of my plebeian accent. I know I could spend a bit more time working on it, yet I am too lazy to do so, so I just walk around getting angry anytime someone accuses me of being Russian.

OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!!

OMG OMG OMG I do not know how to live with myself now!!!!!!!

You were able to name them just like that, without looking up their names? I am impressed. FTR, Frykowski’s name was either Wojtek or Wojciech, but then, who counts?

Since “scampi” - in Italian - essentially means “shrimp” (it is plural of scampo), saying “shrimp scampi” is pretty much saying “shrimp shrimp.”

So is cyanide! All-natural! GMO-free! Contains no gluten!

You know what else is “natural”? Cyanide.

Wojtek. Or Wojciech.

The whole family just makes me sick.

Has anybody seen Almodovar’s “Talk To Her?”

Hey, don’t insult Thomas the Tank Engine.

“pretty white woman”

My ex is my best friend. I was very happy when he found hist right woman. 

this... thing. MUCH better.