yeah, i’m gonna hop on the FBI train recommended by another commenter, because i have tenant PTSD and want the best for everyone: chicago.fbi.gov

yes. and the hills. justin bobby has done exactly nothing with his life.

The O.C.! i am down for o.c. ... until taylor.

oh man. can we compromise with gilmore girls?

oh also: buffy marathons. i am very much open to buffy marathons.

... not to doxx you, but where the fuck do you live, evil narnia?! dude maybe my old tenant’s squatter’s rights plan would legally fly in your area? fucking... let’s do this. google the good zip codes.

i mean fine, so long as you’re willing to watch The Ring with me on repeat until i pass out after doing random crafts all afternoon while refusing to leave the house?

your user name makes me wonder if it’s illegal to glitterbomb the po-lice

iMom, i have ONE joke. “so, a baby seal walked into a club.”

that seems... just, so, wrong? leases don’t supersede protective orders! “i can’t go to JAIL, i have a LEASE!” this reminds me of one tenant i had that refused to leave on the grounds of “squatters rights” (in 2008) because she had her mail delivered to my address. i was like I AM FINDING THE NICEST PLACE IN DC AND…

feelings are good! crying sheds pounds! no it doesn’t, but i lie to myself. i lose it a little every time i look at one of my two kids and wonder how she could have hated me so much. there are people that take pleasure in abusing those who cannot escape them, and then there are folks like you. all i’ve ever wanted was…

learning that my biological mother wasn’t the only comically horrible one was, sadly, a good day for me. thank you for sharing you story. hearts.

whoa. can’t you call the cops on him? sorry if i’ve missed that you say you have... but, child porn + drug dealing + beating my tenant / roommate totally sound like jail-able offenses... state tenant laws are great and all but i was unaware they superseded other laws... brb, hatching evil plan.

my biological mother actively and openly hated and humiliated me for the 15 years i was forced to endure her presence in my life. knowing someone out there gave a shit about what happened to me (my stepmother) pretty much kept me alive for the subsequent 23. so, thank you. i understand your guilt, and the fact that…

“I find myself wishing for some kind of morally good but still corrupt government.”

you guys! that tiny water bottle is just sinking into his huge, cavernous hands. that’s all.

wait does lil’ kim have six fingers

... did you ever remember who it was?

hell is an unwelcome ass grab, and the inability to realize that it’s wrong. we absolutely CAN flip out every time someone pats an ass. and that’s just a start. i think a fair Social Grope Clause should include responding to unsolicited touching by punching the toucher in the dick, because hey, we can’t flip out every…