I like beer the same way I like Rick & Morty: It’s fun, and if you like it a little bit I’ll probably have something to talk to you about. But if you like it too much I already want you dead.

As a Fermentation major *pushes glasses up nose, gets shoved into a mash tun by a AB InBev rep*, there are actual definitions for “craft brewery” and “microbrewery,” namely annual production of less than 6 million barrels and 15000 barrels, respectively. There’s also the “independent” aspect where less than 25 percent…

“*What the fuck does spending money on “women” even mean?”

If you’re a Republican I assume it means paying settlements for sexual harassment lawsuits.

Believe me, I feel you.

And I’m still in the greys?

Huff Post has been on fire with their headlines this year, and today’s is definitely a winner:

I’ve started memorizing the Battle Hymn of the Republic, and singing it to myself when I get low. I’m not a religious person (actually edging toward atheism at this point), but it comforts me in the way prayer used to. It reminds me that there are millions of people doing their little part to end this madness and…

Probably not getting a wedding invite either.

/looks right/

/looks left/

...no.

I just really, really want her to be desperately unhappy. Is that so wrong?

No, your analogy still doesn’t work, because now you’re moving the goalposts saying that you’d just not buy coffee one day. Point still stands that it’s a ridiculously small amount of money, and if you were buying that cup of coffee and it was very important to somebody, you’d absolutely sound like a penny pinching…

I just threw up on my fucking shoes. Do you see what we let happen, people? The philly fans are smiling. GREAT JOB everyone.

“We’re the United States government, we don’t do that sort of thing.”

There’s a difference between saying that the police rough up white people too, and that they disproportionately target minorities and in particular black people. Nobody’s saying poor whites don’t get treated poorly. What they’re saying is, it doesn’t matter how rich or poor you are, you can mind your P’s and Q’s…

This is a $50 million solution.

Which says all you need to know about how shitty America has become. Thanks for the highlight dipshit.

Nobody has the right to make another US citizens stand for the National Anthem or rend any honors to the flag, per the US Supreme Court in WV State Board of Education v. Barnette. In what country do you live?

The owners could do some political lobbying with other affluent friends to help the-hahahahaha sorry, I couldn’t finish that hypothetical without laughing at how much of a pipedream it is.

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