Do they have jurisdiction over the Annunaki Police Department (APD) that was established in 5600 bc when the aliens who built the pyramids & accidentally sank Atlantis left earth? Or is there a friendly rivalry, firefighter vs. cop thing going on?

Who’s the shitass cosmetic dermatologist willing to do this to a teenager?

I am the supervisor of a private catholic college’s academic center and, while trying to surreptitiously read this comment at work, I basically spit the contents an entire water bottle all over my desk.

My lips were drawn so big they separated from my body b/c they grew a brain and soul and I SET THEM FREE. MY LIPLINER CREATED LIFE FROM NOTHING.

This isn’t about what passengers can do — they should be able to, you know, ride home in an Uber, a yellow cab, a bus, or a fucking unicycle without getting raped, groped, kidnapped, menaced, harassed or any other damn thing. This is about simple steps Uber could take to improve its processes when something like this…

I'm going to start drawing my lips from my forehead to my nipples and no one can stop me.

They are called lies of omission and according to my youth pastor, you will still go to hell!

This isn’t really a “those bastards,” more like, “this is how this worked and the NYPD and Uber working together delayed the process of finding and interviewing this person.”

But only after the art department, for their work with dinosaur fellatio.

Fucking brava, Anna.

Hey, I'm not gonna suffer alone, Pal!

Yeah, I think in this instance a beatdown is not only okay, but probably required. Fire, too.

Puppy party!

if only there were a father in the family unit to gui—

“I’d rather people just judged me on my personality and my character and my integrity,” he said.

“Frady’s father says that the dog was already being tortured by other boys at the camp, and David and Clayton simply put the dog out of its misery.”

Private Pyle?

Here’s what Huckabee said about lgbt families.

I may or may not have someone in my immediate or extended family who killed animals when they were a young teen. It was... incredibly fucked up and disturbing. (They were incredibly fucked up at the time.) You get them therapy, you get them help, and pray to the gods that it sticks. (It seems to have with this person,…

I’ve cried twice at work today, and now I just want to hug a dog. Or be hugged by a dog.