no no no no no no Homeward Bound no no no no choke sob.

It’s a Manic Pixie Dream Girl as she slides rapidly toward middle-age.

I would read your manifesto.

would read your Bourdain erotica get on that please

same

holy shit I laughed way too hard at this.

I would read your novel.

was going to say exactly this.

I met Annette and Warren at a party once (I am eye-rolling myself for using a sentence like that, I assure you) and they were like those friends of your parents who have been married for decades and decades who still touch each other’s shoulders when they’re talking and tease each other about needing reading glasses.…

or ‘revered by millions.’ or a ‘kingpin.’

I just don’t see how it could be Sheen with the references to ‘revered by millions’ and ‘family man.’ And a ‘kingpin’ in Hollywood? Nah.

Came to say same. Hot and sour soup is magic.

I feel like you narrowly escaped the clutches of a serial killer.

I actually find this terrifying.

Oof. What a shitty thing to do for such a shitty reason.

Can’t agree, sorry. Our girl Hillary sat through hours of Benghazi grilling and was chill af. Didn’t flinch. Didn’t blink. That was some ice cold composure right there and it totally earns her a place at the DGAF table.

Also, I nominate her for moderating the presidential debates. She will NOT tolerate any of Trump’s fuckery.

If you bring bourbon or know how to mix a great martini (no Crantini bullshit either. My ladies only do classic martinis or hard liquor on the rocks.)

I unabashedly, unapologetically, unironically love Judge Judy. LOVE her. I love how she refuses to suffer fools, I love how she shuts people down with just a look, I love how she yells when she’s just fucking DONE with someone, I love how she says things like DON’T PISS ON MY LEG AND TELL ME IT’S RAINING.

And let ME love YOU for that gif.