Alpha releases don’t melt steel beams, Ishamael.

+1 set of supple baby-skin boots

Binary! It goes right-to-left. 1: 0001, 2: 0010, 3: 0011, 4: 0100, 5: 0101, 6: 0110, 7: 0111, 8: 1000

HAH! Look at the board behind that statue; it has a Time Warp how-to infographic!

Hah! This really does sound like you’ve written for Cracked.com at some point. It’s brilliant! Please, please continue.

According to Deadline, the third slot on the show will be occupied by rotating hosts.

Left out Penny Arcade’s comic this week, eh? Unfortunate; I was looking forward to reading the assuredly wonderful comments for that one.

Ohgod, I can’t stop laughing. Need to breathe! Someone send help

précisément

Anne Frank’s twitter account.

Long John Silver from Muppet Treasure Island. He’s the single best part of that movie.

“ex-LDS” sounds too technical, though. Can we go with “former Latters”? Maybe “prior Latters”?

Not defending it here, but I think the assumption by management in these situations is that tipping is technically not mandatory now. Functionally, yes, it is, but not on paper, and that’s the only thing that matters to them. So the next stage down from the current “voluntary” tipping is, in their eyes, banning it…

Didn’t that movie actually star Ben Carson? It’s difficult to tell; they look really similar for some reason. I can’t think why.

To be fair, they do run Barter Town.

The froth is simply proof that santorum is running.

Nope-a-Cola

the Vulcan Society, a Black firefighters group

Agreed. Look at that line at the bottom of the comic page: