Hi Megan, it’s actually sarsaparilla.

Here you go, you will never forget how to spell it again:

I use a VPN and my friend’s UK postcode to watch things on BBC iPlayer, ITV, Channel 4, etc.

I hear you so much. But I’ve developed an invincible strategy:

Unless she’s the kind of child who would see having her dictionary taken away and being forced to go out and play hide and seek with her idiot contemporaries as a punishment.

I believe that is correct. 

I won on the word “church” and I thought I must be brilliant since my family didn’t even go to church, but I STILL KNEW HOW TO SPELL IT. I was later disappointed to discover that I wasn’t brilliant, maybe just good at phonics.

Seriously. I started reading at an early age and knew how to spell like a mofo but got kicked out of my spelling bee at that age for misspelling “says”. I didn’t misspell it; I just had a really southern accent at the time and spoke quickly. I cried for two days. Not because I lost, but because I was so fucking…

Here’s some footage from her qualifying rounds; watch as she spells “sasparilla” with ease and knocks “Croesus” out of the park, too.

My daughter just turned 6 yesterday, and she is definitely not doing this. In fact, as far as I can tell, all she does is make messes and drive me insane by not eating her dinner. It’s what you asked for, you little shit!!! Eat it before I jump off the roof of our building!

Baedeker? Since when are proper nouns allowed?

I had my hand down my pants a lot at that age so yours is a lot better.

The Onion

WHERE DID YOU FIND THIS

this moron can’t even get through a basic intelligence briefing without colorful pictures and a tablecloth to draw on.

During my second pregnancy I suddenly developed a strong aversion to the sight/taste/smell of chicken. It would have me standing over the kitchen sink gagging. I had never had any problems with chicken before. This passed, but it was really strange.

The message I got from this is that Scott is NOT a fun partier. He’s a binge drinker who is out of control and likely blacks out, drunk pees in the closet or bed and says terrible and embarrassing things with zero memory the next day. Bet you he also constantly reeks of booze as his body attempts to metabolize the…

Her situation sounds more like sex discrimination than asshattery, though.

Jeff Koons doesn’t care if you know it or not.

I am basing this off of nothing beyond the fact that Bella Thorne gives me Lindsay Lohan in 2007 vibes, but like...isn’t she a partier too? Someone who pays attention to 19 year old celebs clue me in.