You could have rallied the right wing to go out to the theater on the weekend and foiled the Liberal World Order. But you didn't.

Didn't he shoot and kill a fly with a blank gun on the set of RED? That's pretty crazy shit.

Fitting that it came full circle with "Eagleheart". God damn, I miss "Eagleheart".

I can't wrap my head around how the whole thing is supposed to flow. My mind is powerless.

We have VICE. I'm really trying to think which is worse.

That is so not like the good old days and also so exactly what we'd get.

"Girl in front row at ska band's first concert who unplugged the stage monitors twenty seconds into the opening song."

All of this lead-up nonsense will be worth it if we get a Will Smith theme song, like in the good old days.

I thought OP's OP was meant to be funny. And it's pretty funny. The enthusiasm OP put into the joke is what sells it.

My glasses? Heavens, no. But if you see my dignity floating in the toilet tank, please let me know. Because I would like my dignity back.

I am a stupid American, but even I know anything that matters in England happens in some leafy town on the banks of a river. So my knowing shit about England is all just mostly about rivers.

He went to Jared!?

You want to date her?

Every day of their lives, I'm gonna show my kids a "Magic School Bus" and "Shining Time Station" double feature.

You have exploded and ruined my understanding of how the world works.

Mr. Sean O'Neal,

Ha-haaaaa! You read my comment! I win!

You actually read all of that?

There's a reason they don't put the opinion columns on the front page.

I wouldn't have had to reply to arguments I made up had you not been lacking in arguments.