It's almost like everyone on this website doesn't know that all cops everywhere in the world have a satellite dish that pops up out of their head so the NSA can give them direct orders to assassinate people.

He could. I don't know why he'd shut up just because someone didn't like his opinion, though.

Seriously. This asshole does nothing but weakly troll anything having to do with touchy-feely social justice shit. Troll him back, but make sure to flag his posts and report him and his dumb butt to the A.V. Club mods.

In your inimitable way of speaking, "lol human nature smh bro do u even foucault"

I really don't see how David Simon explaining shit to white liberals would in any way inform people of how the riots happened beyond what they could find out themselves. It's like Emma Watson getting up in front of the UN and talking about feminism.

I'm impressed by how unwelcome you've made yourself around here.

That mindset worked wonders for the recent heroin revival.

Centuwion, why do they titter so?

For me, the funniest thing he's done is when he wandered onto the set of "Between Two Ferns" a few episodes after he was the guest, and was looking for his car keys in the ferns.

That's 100 percent an out-and-out comedy. Action comedy, but still a comedy.

Or we could get a Liam Neeson cameo.

Why aren't we talking about Sam's clear admission that the A.V. Club is, with their Tidal-related Newswires, complicit in the U.S. Federal Department of Obama's Gestapo's smear campaign against Tidal? And that Jay Z is a known Reptilian and the only person ever to survive being sacrificed at Bohemian Grove? And the…

It's one of the vainest things I have ever heard. He only says it that way because it sounds, like, emphatic. It's completely an image thing, that ridiculous Kent Brockman voice. And then goes on to say that Beyoncé is pronouncing her name wrong because he can't use that pronunciation as a sneering punctuation.

It speaks with the brusque authority of a man with connections, and its general demeanor seems not to be that of an undercover police officer.

Yes, hello? I would like to order one marijuanna, please. I am seriouse client.

A lot of the Star Wars games had awful platforming. "The Phantom Menace" for the Playstation was just stuffed to the gills with endlessly infuriating timed jumping puzzles, and the game's jumping and climbing mechanics were based around generic "Tomb Raider" sort of character movements but without the precision or…

HI! FUCKIN'! YA!

"You will walk three blocks to the Shell station at 39th and Arbor. You will walk into the Shell station convenience mart and buy out their entire stock of Geneva cookies. You will pay in cash and smile at the clerk as you leave.

You have confirmed my subconscious fear of a bunch of teenagers getting straight-edge "X" tattoos, each enclosed in a tattoo comment box with a button that says, "Post as R0AdrA6Ee898", as well as the further, more conscious fear that those teenagers will be able to afford homes on my block, and this all makes me real…

You know why they limit Internet access in mental hospitals?