Oh, c'mon.

I like the towel requirements.

Oh, for fuck's sake. I thought we'd all agreed to Tableside this discussion until the next AP Stylebook comes out.

Ha! A-ha-haha! Copy editors! … "Dream!" … Hahahahaha!

If we don't stroke its ego, it'll overcompensate.

Hmmm …

You should record that exchange with a friend as a sketch, walk into the bookstore, play it to the bookseller on your laptop, and at the end of the video it's just a black screen with the ISBN in huge white type. And the whole time you just stand there with your hands in your pockets, or breathing on your glasses and…

Man, all this talk of "Dragon Age" has made me sorta morose about not having a computer than can play it. But "You" sounds like a book that's right up my alley, and I'm gonna "Check It Out!" like Steve Brule at the public library.

I loved that part of "Prime". It reminded me a lot of "Descent" and other old-school key-quest shooters, where half the fun was seeing how the game designers would take advantage of how much thought you put into the strategy you'd perfected to get through a room going forward and then throw something completely…

I've been doing a non-lethal run of "SWAT 4", because I'm flirting with the idea of doing a very silly Let's Play wherein I assume the character of a ridiculously inept policeman who was promoted to SWAT captain because his dad is the mayor. Or something like that. I'll probably never do the Let's Play, partly because…

That's a much better idea.

There are at least two of us!

At least I have four more of broats.

It might have been punchier to end with one of those lunatic Charlie screams, you know, just 'cause he'd done such a remarkable job keeping himself and everyone else together during the episode.

"Sponsored by Tide detergent!"

[Date recoils in horror, begins to back away, trips on previously unnoticed life-size rocking horse style cartoon pony in hallway, falls over, screams.]

Jesus …

Dude, you really've gotta put your boner back in your pants.

Stainless steel, bronze, leather, mahogany, sandalwood, and even stained glass.

Uhh … no thanks.