HBO CEO of J-D1/2-J?

If it's legitimately five Glenn Becks, the dick on his face has ways of shutting them down.

I'd like to de-sa-robe Lisa Loeb.

Frisk. Isolate pocket contents.

I think the third installment read too deeply into the victim's decision to purchase 2 percent milk instead of her usual whole-fat on the day of her murder.

In other news, adult novelty manufacturer, Fleshlight, filed for chapter 11 bankruptcy Thursday after the Supreme Court, in a unanimous decision, ruled in favor of Lucasfilm Ltd., who was suing the maker of the popular "male masturbator" for breach of copyright.

I'd buy a replica of Toht's folding coat hanger.

If he got his hand caught in one of those free blenders they give out for opening an account he could probably pay for his legal defense with YouTube click money.

My favorite federal crimes are the ones that happen in Indian Country.

What's with the holdup on this pun thread? I'd have thought everyone would be in and out of here in under thirty seconds.

[Vehemently diatribes about hatred toward writer of Cracked article in the comment section while shitting at Taco Bell]

HEY EVERYONE LOOK AT ME I HAVE OPINIONS ABOUT TAYLOR SWIFT AND OPINIONS ABOUT PEOPLE WHO LISTEN TO TAYLOR SWIFT AND EVEN YET STILL MORE OPINIONS ABOUT PEOPLE WHO JUMP ON THE CLICKBAIT BANDWAGON AND WRITE OBSEQUIOUS ARTICLES ABOUT TAYLOR SWIFT AND ALSO OPINIONS ABOUT HOW MUSIC HAS GONE RIGHT DOWN THE CRAPPER LATELY AND…

I made a snarky comment a while back about the writers doing all these thinkpieces on "Too Many Cooks" being people who watched Toonami instead of Adult Swim, but seriously, how can Millennials who work for new media not know what Adult Swim is? It's mind-boggling.

Yeah, but it was a pretty much a foregone conclusion that smarty-pantses the world over would eventually graduate from name-dropping Zizek all over the place on artist's statements in pop-up galleries to seeing his face in Adult Swim programming like some grilled-cheese Virgin Mary.

But she's in front of a computer. There is literally no reason a woman would be in front of a computer unless she was a geek.

Jessie on "NTSF:SD:SUV::" was one of my favorite characters on the show because sticking a pair of chunky glasses on Rebecca Romijn is such a perfect encapsulation of how procedurals treat the "geek girl" character.

4. Don't cast Cher. Or do cast Cher. Or whatever.

You can hardly blame the Internet in that case.

Oh, fiddlesticks! Someone leaked my "Swifty Shades of Grey" fanfic manuscript!

More than two cats is unacceptable unless you keep them in a bag.