So, paranoid of being called a pervert, you invent an imaginary pervert by which to measure your non-perviness, and then introduce that imaginary pervert to me to prove you aren't a perv? Frank, these are the actions of a crazy person.

I'm sorry, what exactly are you defending?

Did you major in "Googling Stuff Without Knowing What it Is And Taking Some Things Out of Context And Then Making Up Really Silly Arguments That Are Completely Illogical Studies," or did you flunk out after two semesters?

Shut up, Frank.

America the Beautiful swells as JMP delivers this impassioned speech.

Find yuhselv to ze Choppafornia!

Once again, beer saves another great American city.

Jeez, get with the times, Milwaukee. Even my shitty local daily syndicates Jason Statham's column, "British Guy Go With Guns Car Make Boom Boom."

Thanks for the humorlessness, Mr. Humorless "Non-Humor" Humorless III.

21, huh? Well, that explains a lot.

BOOM! SMACKDOWN!

This is exactly the argument made by academics in support of the crimes of AIG and Goldman Sachs, before, during and after the textbook financial crisis to end all financial crises that show us that — I've said it before, and I'll say it again — capitalism simply doesn't work.

Chaos is a definition of anarchism that exists nowhere outside popular media. A hyper-real colloquialism that fits into the very efficient schematic of capitalist self-perpetuation by discrediting oppositional politics.

You're conveniently forgetting the massive Bush administration public relations campaign that was "Flavor of Love". His clock necklace is an Illuminati symbol of watchmakers, the only known Swiss faction to have sworn off neutrality and establish an armed resistance against the peaceful ways of the Swiss.

I wonder how much the reappraisal of "Metropolis" had to do with the film's advancements in — and for its time, perfection of — special/visual effects technique. Even casual movie buffs, I think, know "Metropolis" primarily for it's innovative camera trickery, rather than, like, its intellectual substance, I guess you…

You can't fight the power without well-funded lobbyists.

Except for that time Furbies infiltrated the desks of Pentagon employees and nearly succeeded in passing valuable military secrets to terrorists.

Group home and psych ward relationships are pretty bad, too. Everyone's already primed for co-dependency and hyper-emotional states, and confine that to a small space no one can take a break from … bad news all around.

I just felt really bad the whole time for enjoying it so much. I guess it wasn't so much that it wasn't fun, but Jesus I felt really guilty afterward.

Oh cmon, the only documented sighting is a shaky, grainy Super 8 home porno that proves absolutely nothing, and "Buttfoot" has been roundly debunked by anthropologists as a guy covered in merkins.