I’m enjoying this new 2-team NBA, but wondering why the commissioner doesn’t cut out all these interminable regular season games and go straight to a Warriors/Knicks finals?

There’s only one possible explanation; he has pyrokinetic abilities and they’re all being held hostage to continue to employ him.

So it’s not about the Spanish-speaking World’s official McDonald’s mascot?

Aretha: You’d better think (acts as if she’s going poke Matt ‘Guitar’ Murphy in the temple but instead gouges his eye) think ‘bout what you’re tryin’ to do to me

I’m just hoping they can come to some sort of Missouri Compromise eventually

Also in the bathroom entourage: Michael Winslow to make gushing water noises, a harpist to calm him down in case somebody knocks on the door, and the taxpayers of St. Louis for him to shake it out on.

“Greg, we just have a few hard-hitting questions”

Brides of Christ, eh? No wonder he hasn’t returned to Earth.

The thing to watch for here is the cavalcade of pent-up bad feeling that will be released against Gregg Williams and his red-ass of an enabler, Jeff Fisher.

“So Kobe, are you wearing the Lakers’ projected wins or your 3-point FG% on your uniform this year?”

“Did ah say leader? No, I meant reader. Greg a real team reader” (Jerry shoves copy of Gravity’s Rainbow in Hardy’s locker)