I’ve got money on it being at a rally.

You don’t have to wish them ill, they’re self-illing.

Great advice for people in the coal industry, Ivanka! Run it past your dad.

I would have expected the late 90s version to be Xtreme Ranch.

Not sure what’s happening in that painting, but that’s my kind of party!

“speak with little slang and correct enunciation, and act like a good citizen”

‘I won the Mueller Witch Hunt’

“Phoenix City Council approved almost $3 billion to go towards the formation of an oversight board last month”

I think her plastic surgeon is trying for the cyberman now, in increments.

Joke’s on you, Fiat - I have no soul!

“Adults pretending to be teenagers and singing? Pass.”

Cool story, insane bro.

What is that? A repurposed dorm room laundry hamper?

There’s nothing funny about that.

I was expecting one from the day before to show that you were born yesterday.

A methhead driving the wrong way on the freeway, that’s who all the ‘StAy oFf TeH FrEEwAy’ dipshits (and a cop!) were defending. Perfect.

My microwave isn’t nearly as big as an x-ray machine, but I wouldn’t stand in front of a running one with the door open.

“I would say that when we talk about the fall, that seems like a long time. It’s a long time,”

Waiting for him to be 130,001.

Leave it in when you get the car detailed so they can shine it up.