You know how y’all love laughing with Marshawn Lynch as he trolls the media, lamenting the fact that sports journalism has descended to such depths that sports reporters really can’t ask a worthwhile question?

Your last name is Dries - you were meant to blot. It’s destiny.

At Jezebel, we are very much against body shaming.

“I’m not good enough to make an algorithm that would help me win at daily fantasy sports, so it must be all bullshit! Just like in high school, when I wasn’t tall/fast/strong/coordinated enough to make the basketball/football/baseball team! Such bullshit!”

I’ll bet you’re everyone’s favorite coworker, aren’t you? Really stickin’ it to the man! Nothing says I’m open minded and level headed like forcing your anti-Chick-Fil-A views on your coworkers who clearly don’t share your Social Justice Warrior opinions!

If you think Shake Shack’s chicken is better than Chick-Fil-A, then you don’t have very good taste in chicken.

Or clicking on the file and hitting enter. I mean, you have to type to change the name anyway - I don’t see how hitting enter before you type was onerous in any way.

This is one of the worst suggestions you could possibly give. Seriously.

“It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God”

That is an offensive play. Have you seen Saban’s daughter?

Even in your example there are major differences. Using awesomesauce as an adverb, as in, you doing this will be helpful, is informal and probably fine.

Lol, yeah - cherries are red, berries are blue...just like the lights on a police car.

Most people don’t have a problem admitting white privilege exists in certain contexts. I’m also from the Midwest, and most of my friends here know that, if the cherries and berries are flashing, you want to be as white as possible to avoid a bad outcome. It’s fundamentally hypocritical to acknowledge (let alone…

Why is it gross? It’s independant from the game. Cobb can’t make Rodgers throw to him, and, more importantly, the number of times that he does doesn’t directly correlate to who the Packers beat on a given Sunday/Monday/Thursday. The integrity of the game remains intact.

“I have no idea what daily fantasy sports are, but here’s my meaningless opinion anyway. I’m neither a lawyer, nor am I educated on the topic, but let me give you my opinion on why daily fantasy sports is gambling and should be illegal. I’ll give you a bullshit red herring analogy that doesn’t even fit, and then I’ll…

Well, yeah. Isn’t that what the Dalai Lama does?

You’re fine. My first reaction was if she wants to be a martyr, let’s cruicfy her. Like, actually crucify her. Like they do in South America (google it).

I’m having a hard time feeling bad for someone who signed a contract agreeing not to date anyone, and was paid handsomely for said contract, and then broke it.

This is true! However, friend, maybe you’re familiar with how state revenue works? Big cities contribute the vast majority to the state revenue! Which funds things that dem der up nort’ers use, like parks and government assistance.