Shoutout to you for doing the work of pre-empting my only real question:

Does Ms. Yaccarino actually think she can fix things, or is she being paid so much she is willing to be the fall gal?

That’s just what Meghan Markle in disguise would say. Who is eccentric composer Karl Jenkins, and why has he never been seen in the same room as Meghan Markle?

I’m not saying it isn’t a requirement for romantic involvement with Tom, but isn’t the most likely possibility that he was simply offering her free testing?

Man, she really went all in on pretending to be Spanish with those kids' names.

All I took from this is that Hayden Christensen and Adam Brody can’t fuck.

Off topic —-but why is a stock photo of intertwined feet always used to represent sex? Do real humans do this? I like snuggling, but the feet need to stay out of it. Maybe I’m just a lot shorter than my partners and it never works like this?

Imagine how much happier they would be if the incels just got together and started blowing each other...

This is how I felt in 8th grade when two of my best friends went to third base with cute boys and I was still waiting for my first kiss. The betrayal, the jealousy, the self-loathing. Beware, incels. It’s a short path from french kissing to giving blow jobs to randos.

Out of the brides I am familiar with, David’s falls into this weird valley. The two monied brides I know wanted a more expansive experience than David’s can give. They flew multiple times to international cities to shop wedding gowns and bridesmaid dresses at boutiques I’ve never heard of, with assigned personal…

Yeah, 25 years ago, Keanu Reeves’s name was routinely used as shorthand for “stupid.” I remember some teen magazine describing every girl’s dream guy as “Keanu with a brain.” It was mean and untrue then, but it was understood; no one would’ve been confused by a line like “why do original thinkers like River Phoenix…

Except Dylan Mulvaney is open about being trans and having been born in a male body. Hilaria Baldwin literally pretended she didn’t know how to say cucumber in English. There is no equivalency or hypocrisy here. 

Even before this case it was obvious from the various outbursts that have been publicized (imagine how many more we never heard about) that Alec Baldwin thinks of himself as the victim in pretty much every scenario, and apparently that extends to being involved in a situation where someone else actually died. I have…

Really dodged a bullet there, didn’t he?

Yeah I’d go with Rege-Jean Page.

Not gonna lie, with a good writer, a lighter version of 007 starring George Santos stumbling his way through saving the world would be funny as hell.

I’ve been beating this drum for awhile, but Dev Patel is 32. Yes, he is disqualified from this arbitrary exercise because he is well known, but I still think he would be great (side note: I am sure the casting director would be willing to look at well-known actors if its the right fit).

If the Alwyn/Swift breakup centered around Joe’s distaste for the demands of her humongous fame, there’s no way he’d sign on to the 007 glory train. He’s obviously one of those performers who eschews the “stadium” for “smaller, more intimate venues.”

Keiran Culkin would be a great villain. I just can’t see his voice ever conveying the iconic sexy smoothness of James Bond. But, he would easily be an iconic villain.

So go write an article about those other people. Everything ever written doesn’t have to be about every identity group in the world.