His current babysitter says the same thing

But....pirates...

Oh lord, that was a typo. It was filed in Arizona. Can’t imagine why I would accidentally write Florida there...............

Great. Now I’m crying in a McDonald’s. And it's not for any of the usual reasons.

This should help. Kids love pictures!

“If we can’t get 750, we respectfully thank you but we’re going to move on.”

I’m surprised the winner wasn’t Teamy McTeamface.

GTFO! Baked Beans are #1. Cornbread can range from #1 to #2048 depending on who brought it. Hush Puppies are always #2, they ain’t at every barbecue.

Can’t red about Red Alert without listening to the Hell March.

Timber was hoping to go in the first round, but he fell.

Releasing on 4/20?

Such a play is known as a Kobe, as it allows you to pass to yourself and involves an asshole.

“Maybe they stole it cause the hood wouldn’t go down.”

Dag, noodle-armed it.

My wife’s: That one buff guy from the movie who did the thing.

At least now Johnny Football can put this mess with the Browns behind him and focus on what’s most important: St. Patrick’s Day.

Good idea! I’m always skeptical about games that get endless preview hype and would strongly recommend not buying into it until we actually get our hands on the finished product.

KG should replace Stephen A. Smith immediately upon retirement.

at the risk of sounding horrible, that right there might be the only reason religion is worth anything: perspective