now imagine getting SWATed while playing a game with this controller xP

Eddie Murphy, I realize, is not like the rest of us. Eddie does not need the laughs.

I read the original Torre article and then waited DAYS to finally see the Deadspin response and it has not disappointed.

You're wrong, Albert. Sam Hinkie is a goddamn genius. Only he has been able to amass a below 20% win percentage and yet still garner fawning media coverage and legions of braying, defensive commenters every time his master plan is even remotely questioned. Only he has been able to monkeyfart his way to multiple…

Nah. Fuck 'em.

My narcissistic mother in law still wouldn't "get"this. She would find some way to be like OH YOU WANT TO BASK IN MY BITTERNESS WELL WHO IS BITTER NOW YOU ARE HAHA

I'm going to say that the catharsis may be worth it after years of abuse.

Except so much of the abuse endured from a narcissist is that your voice is stomped out. You are silenced repeatedly, because their word is always the most important. It is healing and therapeutic to reclaim your voice, and at first, it can be raw and abrasive. Because of course it is— they haven't had the privilege…

I have relatives who are like her parents and they're still savoring what an awful person I am based on things I did as a small child. You can't win, you can just cut them off in the way that's truest for you. This was awesome.

Perhaps they'll even blame their relationship problems on her.

Nothing says "fundamental respect for life" quite like a mean-spirited, half-assed pun aimed at someone grieving over the loss of her husband.

ugh. do not STEP to my angel, Diane Rehm, and her tender voicebox.

Competition does not develop character, it reveals it.

I have two minds about this. One is that you are totally right — a fashion show is no place for a toddler. No one else would dare to bring a baby there. The other is, these are parents who, if they don't take their kid to work on a semi-regular basis, would never, ever see their kid. It's actually kind of nice to see…

Of course, he doesn't need one, does he?

"Actually, analytics refers to a type of bug that lives in your butt."

Its okay. We have this brilliant man:

Late night TV is pointless now.

Fox news just opened a very expensive bottle of wine.