What's next NCAA? You going to require all the member schools to provide money for a new statue?

I feel really positive for all the Penn State alumni who will interpret this move as a validation of what they've claimed all along: That their hero was not the driver of a nefarious coverup, but was simply too much of a stupid pants-shitting old dullard to put the pieces together, realize what was going on, and take…

Truly today is a great victory for anyone who's ever assisted in the cover-up for a chronic sexual predator.

Wow, developing humans really, really don't look like that. Maybe if you melted them a bit, and stuck some tadpole eyes on the sides...

"I don't," replied Pasch, who stated that he had a book for Walton that refuted evolution. Later, Pasch made a comment alluding to the concept of irreducible complexity, a concept

If the company can't afford a $10 tip on pizza, they aren't giving out raises or bonuses.

First and most importantly, as a former pizza delivery person fuck those cheap entitled assholes.

in re: requested memo-

This is a little off-topic, but... I had a friend who showed up to my father's funeral wearing jeans and work boots. Because that's what he wears for his job. He took his lunch break two hours early so he could come and pay his respects and I thought it was lovely. He made an effort to be there for my family and we…

MPS! I wrote a good chunk of that search engine used internally by CNN. I recognize the screen! News organizations have so much fun stuff in their archives. If you get back there, you should ask to see all the obits for people who aren't dead yet.

I assume CNN's last transmission will actually be a shot of Wolf Blitzer - cold and tired from the months of running from the machines - eating Don Lemon's head.

As if you wouldn't be depressed enough about the world ending, here's a sad video.

Certainly not for the iHeart Money company? It's why I am now living in poverty and working part time. ;)

Oh my GOD here in my part of Texas there was some poor woman who worked a gas station and I guess she was just so ridiculously hot that literally every week 2-3 guys would post Missed Connections ads about her. Meanwhile, she's happily married with a kid, right? But she's CONSTANTLY bombarded with these emails from…

My favorite kind of missed connections are when I run into guys that were homophobic to me and I see them at the gay club.

Oh shit! How come shit like this never happens in my part of North Texas?