I always tip exactly 22.7%, no more, no less, even if I have to shave off part of a penny to get it exact.

i would like the new adage to be: can't afford to pay your employees, can't afford to run a business.

That inept waitress totally spilled my guac while she was bowing and scraping to my table. No tip.

My mother is a long-time public school teacher and I was a union rep at my university when I taught. Is there waste and largesse and excessive benefits for union officials? Yes. Are they essential for protecting those underpaid folks charged with educating against wayward admins? Hell yes. Unions are a mixed evil but…

Wake up early.

FUCK MORNING SEX. I'm tired and have bad breath and am grouchy as hell.

I ride my bike to work cause I'm poor, but exercise still counts even when it's done grudgingly, right? I can't handle eating first thing in the morning, though. I just can't. I've never been able to figure out why, but trying to eat breakfast too soon after I get up just causes me to feel kind of nauseous.

Morning people are obnoxious. I prefer still being fun at 10pm, tyvm.

If buttsex is so unnatural, then why is poop dick-shaped?

Yeah, I am not one of these people. You don't want to help me? Won't give me the time of day? I'm gone. And I'll probably tell other people how shitty your service was.

My science teacher told me that Sodium Phosphate is found in the tears of mediocre students. He also used to throw chairs at us when we would talk.

I love it when you call me Dick Popper. Throw your hands in the air, if youse a true player.

They took a vacation after they sacked Rome.

#2) This disgusts me so much. If your friends continue to be friends with harrassing douchebag, they are signaling to HDB that he can harass with impunity; that there are no consequences for his behavior. THAT is what you need to communicate to them; not that it "hurts you," but that he has violated societal norms of…

I will only say this:

This is literally the definition of a "first-world problem" (awful term, I know).

When I had a period, I switched to the Diva Cup so that I could go commando more comfortably. Now I don't have a period, so it doesn't even matter. Woot Woot.

That's exactly what I'm talking about. I don't know why people are offended by this!

Eh.. I consider people who curse too much to be kind of boring. Using "fuck" every sentence gets old. If you're gonna have a filthy mouth, at least expand your vocabulary.