Can’t wait to see what Rihanna is wearing, because it’s going to be freaking awesome.

Hey girl!!!

BEEN WAITIN ALL DAMN DAY

And cigarettes. Got to have a well balanced meal!

She is legit the only person in attendance who makes an effort with her outfit and sticks to the theme. There are few things in life that piss me off more than people who get invited to costume parties and don’t dress up.

Oh, funny story:

These people think a party is tedious and boring? They should try working a desk job. Or being janitors. Or working in an Amazon warehouse.*

God this year went by fast. I feel like this literally just happened?

I look forward more to the Met than the Oscars. The Met sounds exactly like the kind of event I would KILL to attend: getting dressed up in painful yet beautiful fashion, where it’s invitation only and you get to walk around, act like you’re better than everyone because you know you are, kiss somebody’s ass then talk…

*reads description*

I would really, really like to never see a p-in-v lady orgasm or the clear aftermath of one on television or in a movie again. I mean, how many times have you seen that, one person rolling off the other from missionary position or woman on top, both blissed out. Now, how many times have you seen the aftermath of a guy…

Yu’d be surprised a the number of dudes who won’t take direction.

I wish we could tell girls this in...... Middle school?... High School?.... Well, you know, earlier on than 30 years old. Never fake orgasms. Communicate your needs to your partner. Etc. Should be mandatory part of sex ed.

If nothing else, a genuine thank you to the folks who are supporting me here. It does actually mean something to me!

There is plenty of medieval and ancient porn to prove you wrong.

Also, can I please be un-grayed here? I’ve been commenting civilly for years (before kinja even, albeit under a different handle) and am cleared on nearly all the other blogs here that I comment on even semi-regularly (although I’ve nearly dropped Kotaku because I just don’t have as much time for gaming these days).

I am so sad that I had to be 32 before I realized that faking orgasms had literally ensured I had bad-to-boring sex with genuinely nice men.

DJ Khaled is beyond insufferable. All he seems to do is yell out “DJ Khaled!” or “You da best!” on his shitty songs. Also, he uses that baby as a stage prop too often. I don’t understand why anyone would want to be around him, let alone sleep with him. He looks like a lousy lay.