Uggriculturalist and Breadnecks

That fucker in Alaska is going to kill a woman one day. Choking is one of the biggest indicators.

My mother completely retconned history after my grandfather died. He was a saint, don’t you know. Well, I hope that saint is burning in hell.

I hear you, I believe you, I’m with you.

I’m so sorry. That was not your fault.

And if you’re here in Washington, they mail the ballot to your house. YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE.

Handmaidens to the patriarchy gonna handmaiden.

Yeah, what is up with that?

I’d believe he had something to do with Biggie and Tupac getting killed before the Easy-E conspiracy.

Right men, Left men, it’s all semantic wankery as they fight over where to place the boot on our necks. 

Tots and Pears.

Shooting yourself in head but fucking it up to the point you have to do it again is exactly why I would never choose to do that. 

OR THE HIPPITY-HOPS.

That fucking misbegotten autotuned hot mess of a song is catchy as fuck in a criminal way. I haaaaaaaate it but now it’s lodged in my head, so mission accomplished, Maroon 5, you assclowns.

He is so stupid he has to drop trou to count to 20 and 1/4.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ROO! I hope the sweaters are gorgeous and itch-free.

It never ceases to amaze me.

Nice to see Cuban’s getting the face he deserves.

“Before 2014, it was unimaginable to me that I would become a poster boy for men who are assholes,” Ghomeshi wrote in the piece.

PLEASE SEND THREE DOUBLE DOWNS AND ONE FAMOUS BOWL TO 1600 PENNSYL...THE WHITE HOUSE ASAP!