When I was a model in Paris, France, in the 1930s, Marc Jacobs was constantly pawing me.

No. I will not shut up. There's a difference between writing a good headline and the "Most amazing story you'll see all day!" garbage HuffPo (and Gawker sometimes) is known for. That is the fucking worst.

So is "otter" or "rampage" the search term you have an alert for?

That dog has crazy eyes.

We had a good laugh at the Russians when we saw this. Not so weird now, is it?

Tom, I'm afraid you've been hoodwinked: this is viral marketing for Bud Light Lime Straw-Ber-Rita.

I was riveted until I read the author is married to the coach of the runner accused of doing something wrong. Really?

I'm a rocket cat.

Food does not need to double down as functional. As a former sous chef this is the kind of crap that I hate. I bet the "cookie" taste like fucking shit because it is too busy being a fucking cup instead of a cookie.....#cookingpetpeeves

As a long term reader of Jezebel, a below the liner, and a member of the technical crew of Midnight Rider, fuck you and your headline.

As long as they're not the more expensive organic strawberries, because, you know, they are on the list of Bad Foods That Have More Pesticides that only non-WIC people would understand.

+1 for straight talk.

Is "swipe" bro talk for fucking? If it is, you're a weird mother fucker.

EAT ALL THE SWEET, SWEET TAXPAYER STRAWBERRIES

Stock Photos of White Children Eating Strawberries

Stop distracting her - she's trying to eat all the evidence!

Seriously, this is amazing.

Gotta be better at hiding than that.

Um Burt, this is near where i grew up and there's a good chance that i may know/be related to the people involved. I'll be calling my family from up in those parts tomorrow for more information. In the meantime here's the take from the local paper for that part of the country http://www.redding.com/news/2014/feb/… …