God I love all you Jezebel sick bastards.  You’re my kinda people

Fuck, now I gotta revise the fucking corporate conferencing policies to remind people NOT to masturbate during Zooms/Meets ... geezus I hate people ...

Fuck, now I gotta revise the fucking corporate conferencing policies to remind people NOT to masturbate during Zooms/Meets ... geezus I hate people ...

wait a minute ... you mean then that OJ IS the real killer ..?
GotDamn, I think you might be onto something

wait a minute ... you mean then that OJ IS the real killer ..?
GotDamn, I think you might be onto something

could?  He DID kill two people and got away with it. 

WHAT David Sedaris quote?  so many ... so you gotta state which one.  Come on

you think he still splooged after realizing cams were live? Guess his next resume stop gonna be a lonely OnlyFans account ...

hey I get it. I too was born with the whole package and I find it all ugly myself. I just hope my future intimates don’t mind a dark room and the minor inconvenience and expenditure of brief time to get through some carnal urges ... and then we can go out for expresso & warm beignets (my treat).

am I the ONLY fucking straight white guy that does not sexually harass, abuse, or pull some public kink in this world? How in the fuck am I living this basic, respectful, polite life and barely making it while these loathsome pathetic taint warts are making $500k+, got a few homes, and not enough fucking world worries…

wait ... you’re not Uncle Bob?  

geez ... no one ever heard of stepmoms?  Dad got a new squeeze and the first fam boys will be quickly shuffled off to the ex’s after he shows them his new favorite child. 

usually, when baby snatching, you try to get away faster ... but it was the 70's

she don’t even talk perty

100% correct. and people say everyone needs to back off Barron. Fuck Barron. It sucks about your dad but you’re more likely to come out like a Uday/Qusay than like Chelsea so fuck right off.

Tiff gets the gigs that the other Trump seeded as weasels laugh off.  At least she’s like 4th in line of failure once daddy loses.

is Daddy so committed that he’ll donate to the cure after he’s tossed out on his flabby ass?
Tiffany is just playing the game. I have no fucking idea what demographic she appeals to and it would be best if she just sat this out and focused on faking a law career.

well Thor is weird and was a bit craven after his first throw down with Thanos

RDJ is a felon and might very well be still on parole ... so can he vote? 

born again Christian ... really don’t like those kind