This is not a thing. I am not even tall enough to pee in most bathroom sinks.

It’s mostly distracting. But I’d be down for a novelty standing gig or whatever, just cos.

Nah. The show “Rome” got pretty orgiastic, and it wasn’t trashy. “Deadwood” had a lot of live wood and muff, and it was all part of the greater story. HBO will pull this off. The problem is Evan Rachel Wood. She’s not very likeable.

They speak 8 languages in the Philipines, includining Spanish.

“Nah, bitch, we already here!”

Don’t be. Seriously.

I’m 36. Tinder says I’m 26, even though my fb data says 1979. So I admit to being 36, even though most dudes think...I’m 26. Can’t win anyway, so I own my maturity and my divorcée status. Blanche Devereaux, here I come!

Because Texas. For all their bluster, they don’t have a great history of picking battles. This seems to be no exception. Match point: Ahmed. Glad he has good parents to help him rise above this, too. His poise is as mature as his intellect.

Gold toilet seat. All about the gold.

Bernie waves away the minders with those awkward, flappy, talking hands of his. All elbows and fingers. You wouldn’t come at him with a tie or anything fancier than Brooks Brothers after an attack like that either. It would be “I brought you your New Balances. EEEE width, special order from LL Bean.” There was going…

I talked to a lady who owned a little shop one time about her experience. She was a teenager when the Ayatollah was starting to gain traction, and her dad decided to send her to college in London. He said “For your brothers, it’s not so bad. They’ll be safe. But you need to go now and live a better life.” She never…

He does.

Don’t forget that there was no such thing as marital rape in the US until 1993.

Bon Iver loved Garden State so much he wrote the song Blood Bank about it. The older I get, the more I have to parse out whether I actually hate things, or if I hate things because of the people who like them and what they represent. My mid-30s is a return to some honest earnestness in both directions.

Yeah. Thank you for posting that, because my response was just “Oh, Chrissy. I’m sorry.”

Stupid cunt. That is all.

That is the best “American Dream” story I’ve ever heard. I guess I can forgive Rayanne for sleeping with Jordan now. PS - Who would have dreamed Jordan Catalano would have an Oscar?

My nephew is sabotaging my brother. Today the bro told me that we have words now (dog dog, mama, dada), and that “Dada” is only when he wants to play. If he tries to console him, or do any other things the baby has designated “Mama” for, he gets a resounding “Nice try, but who the fuck do you think you are?” from a…

So no. Only domesticated sheep keep growing. Merino sheep are extra dense, so this guy weighed a lot and couldn’t see very well by the time they found him. He was pretty uncomfortable. Shrek was a sneaky, special guy that captured the heart of New Zealand. He has his own little educational house with his pelt (it’s…

I frequently misnomer my, and others’ vulvas as vaginas, because I just don’t like the word, akin to how many feel about the word “moist.” It doesn’t gross me out, it just bothers me. I am also a grammar nerd, so I know the real word I’m looking for here is “hypocrite.” Sorry.