I got married at 20 (in Utah, naturally) and divorced at 27. Single Mormons over 31 are considered a little defective, so they take them out of the normal marriageable pool and put them in their own congregation. Having seen a lot of them, it’s true. The attractive, upwardly mobile ones get snatched up young. So this…

Because I am not an idiot or an abuser, I’ve had a standing script for Xanax since 1998 (Bipolar with GAD, thanks) with more refills than I can use. I think it’s taken me that long to go through that many pills. Damn. I can’t imagine what that quantity (2mg “bars” I would imagine - it’s what the kids want) would even…

The worst part about this is that now that there’s been an apology and an admission of donation, even though everyone over here in science land is cool with it, it’s just going to fuel the dead baby crazy crowd wanting to save us all from hell by forcing unwanted pregnancies. I was best friends with a Southern Baptist…

Yeah, the rape scene on Outlander was good (is that a thing you’re supposed to say?), but the rest of the show is mediocre at best. Although while I’ve read the stupid books, at least the show cuts 90% of the crap out of those.

So it’s a huge step forward to get shot down and continue not protecting students who have an inordinately high suicide rate in part because of their school experience? I doubt the students think so.

Sinead likes to poke the bear. She’s made a career of it. And she’s Irish. Who DON’T they call cunts? She’s fun to read when she pops her fuzzy little head up. Just to remind us she still exists. Good times. I’m sure Kim K and Rolling Stone don’t have their panties in a bunch. Kanye, maybe.

Having JUST come (not cum, it WAS in public) from my first screening of MMXXL, I feel all those feels and more. My love for Channing has also blossomed and diversified to Joe Mangienello. He’s not a fireman, he’s a goddamned male entertainer! I wore some cutoffs and flip flops cause we ain’t fancy here. Jada’s my…

But why do the rest of us need a tour of her closet? I’m really glad she likes her clothes. I’m just not sure what benefit this has for the readership.

Uh, great? Thanks for the tour of clothes you love that I would never wear, with backstory? This is a very slow news week.

McD’s has been offering these in Maine in the summer for a very long time. They’re actually not bad. This from someone who is from Maine. And gets lobster anytime.

Helen Mirren. Have you heard her reas the torture report?

One time Jason Momoa (or the catfish version, don’t care) Tinder matched with me during Sundance. And now this. What more can he do for my love?

The gold ones were kind of Blanche Deveraux cute. And if I wasn’t 100% sure that ring would tarnish, I would get on it.

What if your collarbone is a flat metal plate? What then? I will never be sexy.

It’s not the face. It’s the voice and the murder for hire.

So do some poorer people.

Chris Pratt is my #2 Bro. (Gronk ranks #1 in my Bro Book.)

I like seeing these two as much as I like baby animals, and that’s a lot. Best besties going. So silly.

It’s all been downhill since Brad. Remember the Fight Club body? Troy? She had his best years.