Far too many buttons and the line forming behind my just heightens my terror. I just want a diet coke!!!

I almost had a panic attack in front of one. There were entirely too many options and I literally froze with my finger hovering just above the screen. I didn’t even know raspberry diet coke existed. The billion people behind me in line were thrilled, I’m sure.

That was exactly my thought as well. What shocking revelations.

I'm so jealous of Lisa Kudrow. That would legit make my year.

Love it.

Why do I keep thinking “Churro”? Maybe I need a snack...

I’m assuming “Cake” is the name of Jared’s cellmate.

He looks sooooo pained. I’ve definitely seen some fake laughs on the old internet, but THAT. Oh man...She looks great though!

I’m so stuck on those eyebrows, I could barely read the article. Imagine if he and Martin Shkreli had a love child. My fucking god.

Yeah, that was GROSS! I think considering it a playable surface was one one hell of a stretch. Apparently (according to the Sounders website) there were players from other teams that flat-out refused to travel because of it.

I was wondering how long it takes to settle in! Thank you! I’m excited to see how it looks in a few weeks.

Perhaps even more horrifying, this is the “improved surface.” It was just installed in the last week. It seems to play better than the previous, but that’s like comparing the water in Flint to Evian.

I bet they listen to Goatye.

I would assume she's getting laid.

And possibly a dictionary.

And now, here’s Wonderwall...

I just saw that at Whole Foods!

Me too! I think I’m okay, but coworkers definitely ask. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for some BS study about how chronic sigh-ers actually are smarter and more productive because it increases the flow of oxygen or something. Haha.

It basically just raised my awareness of how much I sigh throughout the day.

No, Lena. He did not mistake you for one of the stars(?) from two broke girls. When he looked at your outfit he said “too broke, girl?” it’s an easy mistake to make.