How did we determine they were poor?

I know a lot of places that have the the economy size margaritas, but with the same amount of alcohol as the small ones. Honestly, I can’t believe he didn’t start puking from the sheer volume of marg mix in his system.

Yup. It makes sense until the tipping aspect.

I guess it depends on the manager. I’ve had one awesome manager who would take tables and then give me the tips because he’s not an unethical twat-rocket.

You could just fart on them. Probably faster.

I too had an AWFUL reaction to birth control pills, no matter how low-dose they were. I went with the Mirena in spite of that because I really can’t deal with cramping being worse than it is. I think that because it is such a low dose and it’s a consistent level, it’s been better for me. If I recall correctly, it’s a…

That must’ve been so hard for him. My heart just breaks when I hear about the difficulties he’s had to endure. Truly a man of the people.

I’m having a little trouble taking a person who voluntarily goes by “Doe Deere” seriously.

I’m going to crack a beer in a Walmart parking lot for this kid.

That’s what I was wondering. I wasn’t aware of labor on demand.

Jesus. Christ.

I read the title as “Rita Ora exits” and got minorly excited.

Came for the fart. Was not disappointed. Of course it’s Ditka.

I’m decidedly unenthused to see what creepy ass newborn photo-shoot he comes up with.

CenturyLink sells cans. Thank god because I always spill those damn cups. Oh, and they water down the beer. I like to know that for $10 I’m getting untainted Shock Top.

Who’s your daddy??

In my experience, if you’re calm and rational, you are more than likely legit. They people who flip their shit (ex: Open Table reservation notes as follow: GLUTEN FREE GLUTEN FREE GLUTEN FREE.) are more than likely just assholes. I worked in a lovely local Italian restaurant where everything was local and made in…

Gap/Banana Republic/Old Navy and my personal favorite, the subsequent outlet stores. They are not the same and no I can’t just “run it over there” for you.

I feel bad if it’s a half an hour before. I know you want to leave and I’ve been there. To this day, I will never EVER understand why so many of these people order well done steaks 5 minutes before close. It’s like some sort of law or something.

Do you have to say “I’ll have a lower case coke?”