That is some grade A bitch action right there. Wow. Quite the consummate professional.

I’m never having sex again. Thanks.

I think I just threw up.

That is legitimately the only reason why I clicked on the link. I long for the days of my ‘83 900T, ‘86 900T and the greatest car I’ve ever owned: ‘94 9000CS with the Super Aero wheels. Waaah.

I really think he should just stop talking altogether. Although, maybe God told him it was the water. Who knows?

It’s basically the trifecta.

I envy your day drinking.

Truth. MSHSL alllllll day.

I couldn’t have said it any better.

I think I just got pregnant from that picture.

It really speaks to me on a deeper level.

God I hate the Bro-ddahs.

McDonald’s: If the food doesn’t kill you, the parking lot will.

I went with AP English. That worked out well.

I’m sorry, but these people are morons.

He learned from the best: Tom Brady.

Yes, clearly the UNIFORMS are the only issues the League has. Glad we’re focusing on the truly important aspects.

Welcome to the MLS!

These ads make me want to jam chopsticks covered in lime juice into my eyes. I hate EVERY SINGLE THING about them.

There are legitimately no other reasons to go to Mankato other than alcohol and getting laid. I think I could make a compelling argument to rename it South Wisconsin. Source: Former Minnesotan.